Yeah...

I may just go ahead and delete MOST of what i posted here. Part of me doesn't want to, mainly because what is here is my past, and it has shaped me into what i am now...

But sometimes it is best to close doors, brick them up, and punish them for making me into the person I WAS.

I'm just confused about that.

If you don't see things here, it's because it's been deleted. Period. I can't send it to anyone either... if it's gone from here, it is just GONE.

Change is good. Radical change is (r)evolutionary. This can either backfire, or work in such a way that when I look back on myself 5 years from now I will be SO PROUD of myself for doing the right thing.
Fortunately, I have help in doing the latter. That's why I have a list of people i have to thank.

Now for my list of thank you's.
Thank You... my Lord, for loving me despite myself, and for giving me the chance to come to You. You always knew, yet, You made me BELIEVE i had a choice in the matter... i never stood a chance lol. I knew You paid the ultimate price for me, and yet, i still did not do what You ask of me. For that You know i apologize. i love You, Lord. Thank You for your mercy and grace, and i know that from now on i will follow Your word and consider You my Ultimate Dominant. You are the Universe. The end.
Thank you... my bestie, for having all the faith in me, when no one else had faith in me. You were always there with an open mind and heart. I could confide in you everything. You never stopped having hoping that i would come to my senses, and do exactly what i needed to do. You understood that i needed to get tired of my lifestyle, even when i was feeling good in it. And i did. The tears in your eyes for me took three long years. but i got rid of the demons living within me.
Thank you... my Mother, for being practical. I really thank you for being logical. When i become swamped with worry, you always have that level head. You're my Telemakhos, love. I love you so much Ma, that I don't even think saying that will suffice how much I do.
Thank you... friends in Christ, for educating me. For helping me to see the Way, and to want it for myself. I see how God works in your lives. I see how blessed you've become. I hear of how you were B.C and to see you A.D is just wonderful. You all were lights, and you all shined brightly. LOL such peculiar people you guys are. Thank you, and i love you all.
Thank you... friends, for loving me and accepting me, no matter what way i am. Way of the world, or following the Way, most of y'all have been very supportive of me and my choice. I also thank y'all for respecting my newfound lifestyle, but please do not forget that i am still Cierra. i am STILL Cece, and even though i may be a certain way, it doesn't mean that i will sit on a pedestal and judge you. Y'all know i ain't like that. Right now, i'm just elated, and i hope that it doesn't feel as if i am trying to impose my beliefs on you. If so, please check me. Just know that if you are curious, i will try my best to point you in the direction of a Bible, or to show you how the Lord has worked on me. I love all of you.
Thank you... Sir, you have sat down and watched me grow. Never once did you interfere with my growing process, you ALWAYS made sure i saw and learned for myself. It's easy to sit down at a lecture, it takes power to study and grow on your own. I am glad you were there to supplement me... you gave me information when needed, and you were there to reaffirm the fact that yes, i am INDEED growing. Thank you, Sir.

And I am sorry... anyone who had fallen for the demon in me. I am so sorry, it may be a radical change, but be assured that this was for everyone's benefit. I do not want to be responsible for the Spiritual Death of anyone else but myself, nor do I want anyone to be responsible for my Spiritual Death. When your soul cannot enjoy the Eternal life that is in heaven, you will surely perish and be condemned to a state of eternal suffering. Who really wants that? I did not want that demon speaking through me anymore, marking others' souls with tokens of sin, evoking lust, envy, lies, adultery, bisexuality, and the like. I sincerely apologize to those people. I could not help the manipulative and devilishly creative soul that was dwelling inside of me. I apologize for having you joined me in sin.

I think that's all.
Cierra.
7:36 pm