...Me, Auntie Flo and My Mind...

So yeah.

Umm...

Have you ever had one of those days, yanno, those
DRAGON days?

It goes by slow, nothing major happens, but you just
feel FIERCE? Like your stare can intimidate Shaq?
Maybe it's my Auntie Flo shining through but dammit
if I don't feel like I'm made of "Adamantium" (X-Men
heads will catch that lol) Odd, I know.

Lately I've just been an emotional void. Nothing
major hits me, no sadness, no madness, some happy
spells here and there and some anxiety but nothing
more. *Can't say I feel content but I LOVE the
direction my life is heading.
YAY 2010!!*

Back to what I was saying. I haven't cried tears of
frustration in a while, yet there is plenty to be at
wit's end about (well not THAT bad lol). I think I've
finally achieved that "relative 'mellownessocity'" I
wanted. Bad part about it is, I don't feel ANYTHING NEGATIVE
happening to me but things that affect others.

Case in point: I put an end to a struggling
relationship with someone who I do care about. I feel
nothing and it scares me.

I got what I wanted, now I don't know how to handle
this "devoid of hurt feelings" crap. Instead, I get
anxiety like I'm some sort of psychopath when I can't
get my way LMAOOOO. Ok, so I'm a little freaked out
by what I just said.

***I just looked up psychopathy and I'm like ummm...
(QQs around and scratches head) it's soooooo....
interesting. LOL I kid kid. Seriously though, the
liar and bedwetting as a child just simply does not
fit. I only lie when I'm in trouble and don't wanna
hurt no one's feelings, is THAT so wrong? HMPH. Think
about it, if I were a psychopath, I would not care
about how you felt if I told you the truth, right?
THOUGHT SO.***

OK so WHAT THE F*CK AM I TAUMBOUT?? Am I crazy? Could
I be turning into a psychopath? Naw. Naw. NAW.
Can't be me. Now my Aunt, it describes her to a T. LOL, time to sedate that bitch 'fore she do some weird ish.
That Seasonique usually silences her. [/enddryhumor]

I'm just a bored hypochondriac, paired with her Auntie Flo who just decided to be
random. LOL.
Time to put my odd mind back into my pocket... lol
I'll just stick to poetry and short stories for the
time being.

and Uh, if you hear about me in a scandal, it wasn't
me, ok? :D

Kthanksbye!

Supernova

*This is a metaphor coupled with my useless knowledge* LOL so bear with me! This was something that spilled out my mind, and I decided to leave it that way, no editing lol. ENJOY!

All the energy, expelled after a reasonably long run.
It's funny how the most brilliant dies the hardest death,
Has the most muck strewn throughout the cosmos
And be felt and seen lightyears away.

All the power, lost and torn in a violent, epic cataclysm.
It's funny how these giants are fueled by a limited supply
Yet give way to an abundance of life
and joy to all who partake in its glory.

All life is thought to suffer because that energy is lost.
It's funny how the most independent life
Can withstand the terror of its unorthodox implosion
and possibly survive without its sun.

Supernovas leave black holes in its wake,
a draining void of emptiness that tears apart any soul that dwells near it.
Funny thing, a supernova's remnants also give birth to new stars to sustain life
and leave behind beautiful examples of what used to be.

So guess what?

With the help of a friend... I can finally update this to my Yahoo! YAYSVILLE! This is more of a test than anything honestly, so don't mind this post; it's fairly insignificant.

Broken Promises

the small fragments multiply
causing pain to the feet
slowly treading
meticulous footwork
trying to avoid striking
our Achilles heel
while there lies
a shard of your last promise
being our ultimate demise.

Dealing...

UMM... yeah... when I wrote this I was going thru some MAJOR ish with myself. Glad I'm not THERE anymore... :)

Dealing

Look at me,
Feeling worthless, unloved, insignificant
Look at me,
Down and out, feeling sorry for myself
Words can’t even begin to describe the way I feel
All I know is, all these words are so real.

Falling,
Tumbling into a dark trench of despair is my worst fear
Falling,
Struggling to pull myself out of this well of tears
Racked with guilt, unable to keep up this smiling façade
When I know that deep inside, my bright spirit is shot.


Help,
People think that this is something they can help with
Help,
Is something that I consider a myth
“Oh it’s gonna be okay, you know you still have friends who love you” is what they tell me
If that’s the case, why do I cry? Why do I still feel… empty?

It’s me,
It ain’t you, or any other person who has came into my heart and walked all over it
It’s me
Who allowed all this hurt and pain of past loves’ wrongdoing to catch up with my flighty heart
I’m sick of the cuteness, I’m sick of putting others before me, I’m sick of ignoring just how much I HURT...
I think I need to stop crying because of my wounds, and work on mending.

To No Avail

“To No Avail”

Getting shot down all the time
Seeking for time to be mine
Wanting mine, I get on the phone line
Phone rings BUT…
To no avail.

Being friends is the rule
We broke a rule or two and that’s cool
But is it cool for me to act a lil like a fool?
I try to answer it BUT…
To no avail.

I try to reach out to you
Because it’s something bout you I only seen in a few
But even in those few you are a different hue
I try to adjust it BUT…
To no avail.

By no means am I falling in love with him
For “him” is a friend, not in a pool with “them”
But even with them, I try to trim
Down to ONE BUT…
To no avail.

I admit the events happening in my life
Have my mind as busy as the New Jersey Turnpike
I know this stanza don’t resemble the last and the like
I tried to make it so BUT…
To no avail. (LOL)

I'm seeing STARS!

I’m seeing Stars

I’m seeing stars all around me, and no, I’m not in Hollywood
I’m in a state of bliss;
I’m touching the ceiling of the heavens
My joy continues on,
Undying, even though it hides behind a shroud of doubt at times
Like when clouds hide the stars from the spectators below, you know
That these stars will endlessly shine bright, day and night.

Umm.... yeah

So hello fellow Blog people! My name is Cece, and I've decided to do this blogging thing. I'm still trying to feel my way around. But yeah... that's all for now folks! More will come soon!