Dealing...

UMM... yeah... when I wrote this I was going thru some MAJOR ish with myself. Glad I'm not THERE anymore... :)

Dealing

Look at me,
Feeling worthless, unloved, insignificant
Look at me,
Down and out, feeling sorry for myself
Words can’t even begin to describe the way I feel
All I know is, all these words are so real.

Falling,
Tumbling into a dark trench of despair is my worst fear
Falling,
Struggling to pull myself out of this well of tears
Racked with guilt, unable to keep up this smiling façade
When I know that deep inside, my bright spirit is shot.


Help,
People think that this is something they can help with
Help,
Is something that I consider a myth
“Oh it’s gonna be okay, you know you still have friends who love you” is what they tell me
If that’s the case, why do I cry? Why do I still feel… empty?

It’s me,
It ain’t you, or any other person who has came into my heart and walked all over it
It’s me
Who allowed all this hurt and pain of past loves’ wrongdoing to catch up with my flighty heart
I’m sick of the cuteness, I’m sick of putting others before me, I’m sick of ignoring just how much I HURT...
I think I need to stop crying because of my wounds, and work on mending.

To No Avail

“To No Avail”

Getting shot down all the time
Seeking for time to be mine
Wanting mine, I get on the phone line
Phone rings BUT…
To no avail.

Being friends is the rule
We broke a rule or two and that’s cool
But is it cool for me to act a lil like a fool?
I try to answer it BUT…
To no avail.

I try to reach out to you
Because it’s something bout you I only seen in a few
But even in those few you are a different hue
I try to adjust it BUT…
To no avail.

By no means am I falling in love with him
For “him” is a friend, not in a pool with “them”
But even with them, I try to trim
Down to ONE BUT…
To no avail.

I admit the events happening in my life
Have my mind as busy as the New Jersey Turnpike
I know this stanza don’t resemble the last and the like
I tried to make it so BUT…
To no avail. (LOL)

I'm seeing STARS!

I’m seeing Stars

I’m seeing stars all around me, and no, I’m not in Hollywood
I’m in a state of bliss;
I’m touching the ceiling of the heavens
My joy continues on,
Undying, even though it hides behind a shroud of doubt at times
Like when clouds hide the stars from the spectators below, you know
That these stars will endlessly shine bright, day and night.

Umm.... yeah

So hello fellow Blog people! My name is Cece, and I've decided to do this blogging thing. I'm still trying to feel my way around. But yeah... that's all for now folks! More will come soon!