Is this a disorder bay??? lol!!!

I wanted to write
something so eloquent
about you,
i mean, how difficult is it?
I sat here, thinking about
all the emotions i feel
when i am around you,
and a freezing flood
rushes over my shore,
the gray of my brain,
it just will not come to me
quite easily.
Pains me actually.
When i am around you,
you wrap my tongue,
stretch it to its limits
and wring it out
and, my man,
your aftercare
is off the chain.
You give me a new thought before i finish another,
your ideas and power flow into me,
so much that, your leadership
causes ME to be a great leader.
Your power, coupled with the love
you rush down like a quiet
waterfall into my lake of my psyche
evaporates into the atmosphere;
beautiful rainbows shine above our
harmony,
and i still cannot complete my thought.
Papa, what you DO to me!?
I can't seem to finish,
but does it need an ending?
Are we still writing a book
about us? I do not think
I have reached the chapter where
i can finally list all the things i feel
when i'm with you.
Forty-five minutes away,
or forty-five nanoseconds away
you're with me.
And there is no better feeling than to feel you
and the God that dwells within you,
maybe except for the God that dwells in me.
Jesus recognize Jesus,
and i STILL can't finish a thought before
a new beginning.
Ohhhhh i give up!!!

Rotten Love

Is noticing pain
something to be proud of
when you caused it?
Is being aware of anguish
something to be proud of
when you caused it?
Is senseless murder
senseless only to the one
who was killed?

The carcass
infested with maggots
stinks of neglect;
like a bad memory,
it's only putrid
when experienced.
Even when nature
finishes the decomposition,
the stain will remain.

You hold your nose,
avert your eyes,
redirect your path, avoiding
the disgrace on the floor
in your house.
You stop people at the entrance,
live on your porch,
come in the back way,
all to avoid the foyer of your life.

All of this
could have been avoided
if you addressed the issue
instead of running from it.
Clean up the mess that
you helped make,
aid in discarding the shell
of love
that lies rotting.

Let's put on the gloves
of sanitation, remove
the rotten beast without
re-contamination.
Reacquaint ourselves with
it, remember it alive,
and figure out why it died.
Let us bury it,
No Coroner needed.

Sayonara?

Goodbye, love
I have to bid you adieu.
It's for the best, anyways.
For I am only a season in your cycle,
and you a leaf on my tree.

I see your smile from a
spy in the corner of your life,
snapshots of happiness,
the joy excites me,
been here for a while,
even before you pushed me away,
and all i can say--
"your happiness makes me more at peace".
Such noble words spoken
from a woman
who had died
at your dismissal.

Goodbye, love
I have to bid you adieu.
It's for the best, anyways.
For I am only a beauty mark
in between the crack of your @ss.

Half-truths and confusion?
Disillusions from the illusion?
I opened your heart,
studied your conscience,
and written in Sharpie,
was the answer,
yet it had been overwritten. edit
Ah, so much for that.
The stitches i craft in forgiveness
will heal well,
but leave a mark
of regret.

Goodbye, love
I have to bid you adieu.
It's for the best, anyways.
For I am only a passerby hello
While you have gone goodbye.

Shielded from Mother...

A cross-wired lattice fence
white as all
colors mixed together
in one unison,
one form,
one harmony.
Beautiful obstacle,
pure and relevant,
built by hands
of none
and hearts of millions.
Oh white fence,
you are alive with power!
Shocking bolts
of conviction
by climbing the face
of miracles,
and she falls
into green pastures,
mindlessly dwelling
in paradise.

You see,
She had set gaze
on dark horizons,
droning mob cries
and
she
couldn't help
BUT
to feed her
CURIOSITY
and
it KILLED her
that she couldn't touch
the reflection
of HER
she saw
over the fence
that
bordered.
Looming in darkness
was a part of her,
lost
and dwelling
and dying.
Severed umbilical cord;
what good is a
placenta by itself?
Will it not die without an
infant?
Eyes flushed out
the pain in her gut
as the phantom
want for need
ached in her body;
she watched
the useless
appendage
she once loved
wither outside
the fence.

Poor infant, born and
torn away from
what she knew. . .
Father?

Individualistic society sucks.

Yeah, i was just browsing Youtube (as usual) and came across this gem.
Just listen first, and then read on.
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OK so you watched it? Cool.

Yeah........ pretty powerful eh? Yup. The heart thing made me cringe a little bit, but i LOVED Gnarls Barkley's song *reminds self to find and download*.
The message is self-explanatory, i think.

This is what I believe.
Basically, falling in love is a tough deal, and falling out of it can be even tougher. People nowadays are so quick to flee and move on at the first sign of trouble, and people have shallow ideas of commitment (OH I'm gonna only love you during the good times, I'm too young/old/busy/pretty/promiscuous to stay here and make it work when things turn sour 'cause OH I'm SOOOOOOO optimistic, storms scare me and blah blah blah) that they really do not care about the person they are supposed to be "in it" with (meaning, in a relationship with). People are also quick to fall in love with a person. All it takes nowadays is to get to "know them" (sex) and BOOM! You're there. SMH...


i have a lot of feelings about this video... i can't really form a cohesive blog with it so i will just hold on to them. What do y'all think about it?

for Sir...

Big red marks
of sacrificial skin
bunched together
screaming nerves
of timidity
and underlapping
the boundaries
of my bliss
as my vocal cords
chord a pleasing remark
soothing beastly
thoughts of desire
and transferring the
power of my
own will
into your strong hands
and i bind together
the thoughts
of me in you
and we
collar the moment
catch it in our grasp
the point between
yours and mine
that empty space
the thin line that
separates roles
and sorts out the confusion
that i will be yours.

it ain't got no title, just read.

Straw pile
on the curve of my back,
on my knees
begging Master
for reprieve;
passing through
the eye of the needle,
heavy burdens in tow.

Reapers of the world
stare as i crawl
and they sneer as each place
a single strand of straw
on the curve of my back.
Teary eyed, pain radiates
from my spine,
Peripheral nervous system
sends SOS
to the rest of me,
Please, yell "No More!".

And then i see YOUR face,
twisted grin,
your tears of pain
streaming down from your eyes,
and you place
the last straw,
domino effect
of my back
as each bone
collapses,
and the pressure,
the disapproval,
the disdain
flattens me.

Now I am buried
Under the straw I carried,
I see you and
the burden you have
turn away from me
and you mutter
"Strength in the Lord?
Foolishness.
I have broken her."
Your indifference uncovered
the transference.
Straws began to
collect on your spine
as the tingling
in my fingers
dissipates.

Little do you know,
the strength I have
is not measured by
the weight on my back,
the power of my tongue nor
the wits I possess, rather
the love of God.
Within lies
incomparable strength,
as even though
the million straws I carry
have shattered my spine,
my heart still beats,
loves,
and triumphs
over any straw in my load.