Alloy

**Yup, just wrote this, hot off the press. Enjoy the dark part of my mind!!**


Suspension; like a colloid
Confined to a meaningless space
Full of hopes, desires, wanton
of love bought on another's time.

My heart enlarges and glazes over ten times,
a sea of gold running through my blackening heart,
a degeneration of immaculate proportion, tunneling my
vision, blinding my periphery.

And all I see is you. My ability
to love has not waned-- no, not in the
least. My heart is blackening from oxidizing love,
my lust for your affection boils over

Into nothing. For I wait on a glimmer
of hope; a belief that once we touch,
nothing will ever matter. My religion,
deadlocked with the realness of your reality

Allow me to touch you then, allow my syllables
to caress your temple. Be massaged by my iamb,
let my soul meet yours,
as my faith meets your reality.

But this cannot happen. Two different time zones,
two different wavelengths, two minds, two bodies...
one heartbeat. You see, my faith interprets reality,
while your reality only acknowledges faith.

Eight Four Times Over

So many emotions flood into my heart
For a woman I've met three times
Now eight four times over,
And I loved once.
Upon a time when the future ended
And the past escapes finite,
I knew her.
But she never knew me.
I watched her evolve, mutate, adapt
And naturally select familiar darkness,
Blind fish of the sea
I watched in the abyss,
I fed flakes of hope.
I knew her.
But she never knew me.
Imagine erecting a mountain
For one who enjoys the valleys;
Imagine crafting a platinum bust
For someone who loves silver.
All love and adoration
Unrequited and evaded.
I thought her.
But she never thought me.
Now all I have is a skewed memory
Of how I believed we were close.
It was all a hyperbole of how
I allowed her to sew her sadness
Through the threads of me.
Needle practice.
I patched her.
But she never patched me.

Last Poem....

about the subject. I'm spent. Anyway, here goez.


sweet tears
fall from
my face,
indiff'rent
onlooker,
lips are pursed
not concerned with
the reasoning
behind my cry,
but the question of
why weep over her,
you pester"er"?
Unrequited has-been,
awfully silly child,
vaginal chaser, i
AM all of these things, you see
i am the victim of my
own mind, with no one who will
share my sentiments, exactly.
To escape my mind with mindless
sex, never filling the big box
I wear on my sleeve. What can I say?
Fell in love with the idea of you,
Hit the ground and broke. The King's Horses
And the King's Men can't clean up the pieces.

Is this a disorder bay??? lol!!!

I wanted to write
something so eloquent
about you,
i mean, how difficult is it?
I sat here, thinking about
all the emotions i feel
when i am around you,
and a freezing flood
rushes over my shore,
the gray of my brain,
it just will not come to me
quite easily.
Pains me actually.
When i am around you,
you wrap my tongue,
stretch it to its limits
and wring it out
and, my man,
your aftercare
is off the chain.
You give me a new thought before i finish another,
your ideas and power flow into me,
so much that, your leadership
causes ME to be a great leader.
Your power, coupled with the love
you rush down like a quiet
waterfall into my lake of my psyche
evaporates into the atmosphere;
beautiful rainbows shine above our
harmony,
and i still cannot complete my thought.
Papa, what you DO to me!?
I can't seem to finish,
but does it need an ending?
Are we still writing a book
about us? I do not think
I have reached the chapter where
i can finally list all the things i feel
when i'm with you.
Forty-five minutes away,
or forty-five nanoseconds away
you're with me.
And there is no better feeling than to feel you
and the God that dwells within you,
maybe except for the God that dwells in me.
Jesus recognize Jesus,
and i STILL can't finish a thought before
a new beginning.
Ohhhhh i give up!!!

Rotten Love

Is noticing pain
something to be proud of
when you caused it?
Is being aware of anguish
something to be proud of
when you caused it?
Is senseless murder
senseless only to the one
who was killed?

The carcass
infested with maggots
stinks of neglect;
like a bad memory,
it's only putrid
when experienced.
Even when nature
finishes the decomposition,
the stain will remain.

You hold your nose,
avert your eyes,
redirect your path, avoiding
the disgrace on the floor
in your house.
You stop people at the entrance,
live on your porch,
come in the back way,
all to avoid the foyer of your life.

All of this
could have been avoided
if you addressed the issue
instead of running from it.
Clean up the mess that
you helped make,
aid in discarding the shell
of love
that lies rotting.

Let's put on the gloves
of sanitation, remove
the rotten beast without
re-contamination.
Reacquaint ourselves with
it, remember it alive,
and figure out why it died.
Let us bury it,
No Coroner needed.

Sayonara?

Goodbye, love
I have to bid you adieu.
It's for the best, anyways.
For I am only a season in your cycle,
and you a leaf on my tree.

I see your smile from a
spy in the corner of your life,
snapshots of happiness,
the joy excites me,
been here for a while,
even before you pushed me away,
and all i can say--
"your happiness makes me more at peace".
Such noble words spoken
from a woman
who had died
at your dismissal.

Goodbye, love
I have to bid you adieu.
It's for the best, anyways.
For I am only a beauty mark
in between the crack of your @ss.

Half-truths and confusion?
Disillusions from the illusion?
I opened your heart,
studied your conscience,
and written in Sharpie,
was the answer,
yet it had been overwritten. edit
Ah, so much for that.
The stitches i craft in forgiveness
will heal well,
but leave a mark
of regret.

Goodbye, love
I have to bid you adieu.
It's for the best, anyways.
For I am only a passerby hello
While you have gone goodbye.

Shielded from Mother...

A cross-wired lattice fence
white as all
colors mixed together
in one unison,
one form,
one harmony.
Beautiful obstacle,
pure and relevant,
built by hands
of none
and hearts of millions.
Oh white fence,
you are alive with power!
Shocking bolts
of conviction
by climbing the face
of miracles,
and she falls
into green pastures,
mindlessly dwelling
in paradise.

You see,
She had set gaze
on dark horizons,
droning mob cries
and
she
couldn't help
BUT
to feed her
CURIOSITY
and
it KILLED her
that she couldn't touch
the reflection
of HER
she saw
over the fence
that
bordered.
Looming in darkness
was a part of her,
lost
and dwelling
and dying.
Severed umbilical cord;
what good is a
placenta by itself?
Will it not die without an
infant?
Eyes flushed out
the pain in her gut
as the phantom
want for need
ached in her body;
she watched
the useless
appendage
she once loved
wither outside
the fence.

Poor infant, born and
torn away from
what she knew. . .
Father?